Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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