ugly people sure do ruin things
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
