I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
