Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
