Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
