He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Randomize
