He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
