how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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