There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
