so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
