under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
