Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
