dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
