I want to make a zoo with you.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
