Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
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