I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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