I wish i was in the wii world.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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