I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
