There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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