Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
