Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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