is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
