I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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