I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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