hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
