GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
