I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
