i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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