We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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