the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
