Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
