Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
