i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Life is so much better after having sex.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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