Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
