So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
