I'm jealous of your bromance
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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