i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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