btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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