it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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