I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
