So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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