theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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