I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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