woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
