Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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