I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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