So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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