What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
