porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
