I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
