When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
