HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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