Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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