He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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